我上了床，又是一个平常的夜晚. 直到我心跳得比猎豹还快, 我开始出汗，睁开眼睛看到漆黑的天花板. “你死后会发生什么??我问自己. Quickly trying to calm myself down, I concluded that death was darkness, forever. 这并没有使我平静下来, 虽然我脑子里的小声音问了另一个问题, “这一切的意义是什么?, 如果只是永远的黑暗”? My solitude often brought forth questions that made me think long and hard, 常常让我陷入更深的瞬间绝望的深渊.
Loneliness is a feeling that many people in this room will feel at times in their lives. Breakups, the loss of a loved one or moving to a new location are all events that prompt the feeling. Despite its prevalence, 然而, loneliness is often stigmatized and dismissed as a personal failing. 社会以个人的身份这么说, 我们应该有家人和朋友在身边，让我们感觉, 不孤独. 我的经验, 然而, 即使我周围都是朋友和家人吗, 我有时会感到孤独. I struggled with deciphering the fact that loneliness is an emotional state, 而不是身体上的, thus causing me to think that if I was good at something I could have more friends, 这样我就不会觉得孤单了.
I needed to learn to be lonely before surrounding myself with friends and family, 这样我就不会在社交场合或群体中感到错位. It is important to acknowledge that the feeling of loneliness is not a flaw. 在我生命中的某个时刻, 我羞于承认我很孤独, as I understood loneliness was something that happened to people who were “friendless.“我花了很长时间才明白，独处是有意义的.
That was up until I learned that loneliness and the state of being alone had upsides to it. The biggest upside to loneliness is the fact that you aren’t around others, therefore you can do things free of judgment and that make you truly happy, 即使它和别人不一样. 你是一个人，所以做让你快乐的事情没有坏处.
But being physically alone can lead to negative thought patterns and quite literally ruin the way an individual thinks about themselves. Physical 健康 is also often neglected when an individual is in the state of loneliness, 通过锻炼, 冥想或做一些让你精神上得到解放的事情, a resilience to negative thought patterns can be built up that one may experience during loneliness.
It is important to remember that loneliness is not a permanent state and that its okay to enjoy being alone, 但人类需要与其他人进行社会互动. Being on campus with a small student body allows people to easily interact with each other here. 根据我的经验, 我一直害怕独自一人, 所以我才感到孤独, 即使是在社交场合. So, by embracing solitude before seeking out others, I wouldn’t end up feeling a detachment. 我寻求有共同兴趣和价值观的关系, 最终为自己创造一种归属感.
孤独是人类经历中很自然的一部分, 它可以教会我们很多关于世界和我们自己的东西. 拥抱孤独, developing self care practices and building meaningful connections allows an individual to embrace loneliness and stay authentic to themselves.